Cultural comparisons

Two random events in the last day or so reminded me how naturally I compare my culture to others. Most of the time I prefer my own culture. I don't know that it is bad to have preferences or prejudices as long as I am aware of them and know when to switch them off.

First, I am frustrated that everything in Egypt revolves around just in time communication. It is similar to just in time delivery or construction in American. With this method the order and delivery of goods and services is timed so that is arrives exactly when it is needed. The benefit is you save on interest costs and storage costs. We love it in America and most businesses use it in one form or another. Well in Egypt, they do this with communication. Why call when you can just swing by and ring the door bell? Why use email when you can just call people on their mobile (everyone must have one and it must ALWAYS be available)? Why make specific plans a day or two in advance when you can call a few hours before and finalize everything? This all works fine enough when people are there and you can connect. Otherwise, it is a mess and things drag on forever as re-calls and re-visits happen randomly until you do connect with each other.

Second, ... okay, I don't remember the second one anymore, but it was an equally good observation.

So in the end I am reminded of the warning I received from my wife before we left for Egypt...

"You will experience culture shock. You will love Egypt, and then hate it, and then love it again. People who have been there for decades say that culture shock never really goes away." Since I know intellectually that one culture is not "better" than another, I feel the challenge to look for the good in both my home culture and my current culture. Honestly, I still find I am short with people when I am having an "I hate (insert culture)" moment. I will try to keep this in mind when I get home and see some Somali lady looking pissed off. [the leader photo is of a cultural trait that I HATE about America: two people talking to each other and on the phone to other people at the same time.]

Stick'n with it

A few nights ago I had a friend over to visit Sarah and I. We had setup this meeting long in advance so I was planning for a evening of fun, games, and food. Sarah had a change in plans at the last minute so all the prep and cleaning was on me. I worked hard and finished just five minutes before my friend showed up.

We had fun chatting and he showed me some pictures from his home about an hour North of Jeddah. He has the cutest grandbabies! He was generous and gave Sarah a beautiful outfit as well as giving us both fragrances. We gave him a nice photo of Oregon and three business books in English. We ate some food together and then he had to leave for a study group (he is getting his PhD).

So with all this fun, why did I find it sad and disappointing when he left? I had thought we would spend the evening hanging out and getting to know each other better. He only stayed about an hour and ate about half his food.

I am reminded that people are in your life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime (stole this quote from someone else). With my friend I don't know how well God will let me get to know him or how long we will be friends. The result is I try to let my hope and prayers for him go, turn the friendship over to God, and live in the present with him as long as God allows. This has never been natural for me although God continues to work on me in this area.

In the end I was reminded to stick with it and let God take care of the future. Who knows? Maybe I will get a chance to spend time with him and his fiance in the future. What a great chance to make another new friend!

A little light reading...

I was taught there are three types of cultural exchanges in the world:

1) Home culture to Home culture

• The most common for most of us. Chatting with people like you who live in the same area and speak the same language.

2) Similar culture to Similar culture

• Maybe different backgrounds or ethnicities but both of you are living in the same region. Think of it as your average 1st generation Mexican American that has lived in the US for 5 years or so having a conversation with a non-Mexican American. They both have the cultural rules of life in America down. However, there maybe some language barriers and they probably have different traditions and habits.

3)Foreign culture to Foreign culture

• This is what most people think of when you say cross-cultural encounter. A white European that speaks English and French spending time with a Chinese person that speaks German, Chinese, and a little English. There is some talking and a lot of hand gestures. Neither side has any idea how the other views them from their cultural point of view.
  

Okay so with this background outta the way, let's look at the challenge of this website. How do we as American's understand and engage the members of the world that live among us in the US.

One way is to read about their culture and how they see us and life in America. Armed with this info, we can go where they are and hangout over tea or coffee. We can seek to understand people and find the things we do have in common. We can embrace the challenge of a similar culture to similar culture friendship. In doing so, we can follow the example the Jesus gave us.

For those that want to give this a try I have the following info:
A great link page on the US Embassy in Cairo website about Muslims in America. While not all Muslims in America are immigrants, many are. There are many interesting links there to inform the average non-Muslim about what is going on in the Muslim Americans' lives as they live here. I have only checked out one site on the link page, Azizah Magazine, but it was interesting reading to me. I think it is like Woman's Day magazine, but for Muslim women in America.

Secondly, Harvard University has a good website detailing the various culture and religious centers sprinkled around the US. You can always contact one of these. My experience is that most people that are part of a different culture or religious group usually stick together in a foreign country or dissimilar culture. We feel safe and happy around people like us. I know I did this when I lived outside the US. As expats, we tend to have the same hangouts, churches, and fellowship habits.

I should probably clarify one thing. I don't single Muslim Americans out as all a bunch of "foreigners" rather, I am focusing on the Somalis or other people groups that are not native born Americans and are also Muslim. I can't imagine what their experience must be like in America, but I will try. I will close with one story a friend told me:

The power went out in on a winter evening in my home town. My friend thought of her Somali neighbors and went to check on them. They had opened their front door and were shining the car headlights in the house. My friend gave them candles and a flashlight and told them to shut the door and keep the heat in the house because they didn't know when the power would come back on. To the native born Americans this is common sense, but to immigrants this was a brand new experience.